Be Who You Want to Be, Not What Others Want to See: 6 Steps to Embrace Your Authentic Self

What does it mean to be who you want to be, not what others want to see? Growing up, I always felt the pressure to fit in and be accepted by my peers. I constantly worried about what others thought of me and whether I was meeting their expectations. This fear of judgment led me to suppress my true self and conform to what I believed others wanted to see. It wasn’t until I faced the consequences of living this way that I realized the importance of being true to myself. In this article, I’ll share my personal experiences and offer 6 practical steps on how to live authentically.

The Pressure to Conform

From a young age, we are conditioned to seek approval from others. Whether it’s from parents, teachers, friends, or society at large, the desire to fit in and be accepted can shape our behavior and choices. This pressure to conform can lead us to hide our true selves and adopt personas that align with others’ expectations.

Example: For many years, I struggled with the fear of judgment from my friends. I constantly worried about what they would think of me and whether I would be accepted. As a result, I often said and did things that didn’t align with my true self, just to fit in and avoid criticism.

The Cost of Living for Others

Living to meet others’ expectations can take a significant toll on our mental and emotional well-being. When we suppress our true selves, we may experience feelings of frustration, resentment, and dissatisfaction. Over time, this can lead to a loss of identity and a sense of emptiness. Imagine someone who dreams of becoming an artist but chooses a more “practical” career to please their family. While they may achieve financial stability, they may also feel unfulfilled and regret not pursuing their passion.

Example: When it came time to choose a university degree, I followed my friends’ choices instead of pursuing my own passion. They were all enrolling in business and finance programs, so I decided to do the same, even though my true interest lay in the arts. As the semesters went by, I found myself increasingly disinterested and unhappy with my studies. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t continue on this path and made the difficult decision to quit the program. This experience taught me the importance of following my own passions rather than conforming to others’ expectations.

Embracing Authenticity

Embracing authenticity means being true to yourself and living in alignment with your values, beliefs, and passions. It involves letting go of the need for external validation and trusting that your true self is enough. When you live authentically, you experience greater self-confidence, happiness, and fulfillment.

Example: Consider the story of Oprah Winfrey. Despite facing numerous challenges and setbacks, she remained true to herself and pursued her passion for storytelling and helping others. Her authenticity and resilience have made her one of the most influential and beloved figures in the world.

6 Steps to Embrace Your Authentic Self

1. Know Yourself

Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and passions. What truly matters to you? What brings you joy and fulfillment? Understanding yourself is the first step toward living authentically.

Example: Keep a journal to explore your thoughts and feelings. Write about your dreams, goals, and what makes you happy. This self-reflection can help you gain clarity about who you are and what you want.

2. Set Boundaries

Establish boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values and priorities. Setting boundaries allows you to focus on what truly matters to you.

Example: If you value quality time with your family, set boundaries around work and social commitments to ensure you have time for your loved ones.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it’s okay to make mistakes and have imperfections. Self-compassion helps you embrace your true self and let go of the need for perfection.

Example: When you make a mistake, instead of criticizing yourself, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.

4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Build a network of friends and loved ones who accept and support you for who you are. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can boost your confidence and encourage you to live authentically.

Example: Seek out friends who share your interests and values. Join groups or communities where you can connect with like-minded individuals.

5. Take Risks

Embrace opportunities to step out of your comfort zone and pursue your passions. Taking risks can lead to personal growth and help you discover new aspects of yourself.

Example: If you’ve always wanted to try a new hobby or career, take the leap and give it a try. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll gain valuable experience and insights.

6. Celebrate Your Uniqueness

Recognize and celebrate what makes you unique. Embrace your individuality and let it shine. Your unique qualities are what make you special and valuable.

Example: If you have a quirky sense of humor or a unique talent, don’t hide it. Share it with others and take pride in what makes you different.

Takeaway: Be Who You Want to Be

Living authentically and being true to yourself is a journey that requires courage, self-awareness, and resilience. By letting go of the need for external validation and embracing your true self, you can experience greater happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. Remember, you are enough just as you are. Be who you want to be, not what others want to see, and you’ll find that the world becomes a more vibrant and meaningful place.